NFL Postseason Divisional Round

Did I pick a single game correctly last week? Is water wet? Is the sky blue? Is grass green? Can I write a good NFL postseason column? Who am I?!?!?!?

Obviously I have been reeling from my record this past weekend, often times visiting this website (http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/) to connect with my more philosophical inner thoughts. However, they (who?) always say that it is not your ability to stay on top that makes you great, it is your ability to bounce back from adversity that makes you great. But who am I kidding? I’m dealing with as much adversity as Conan and Leno, who both have airplane hangars full of cars to go home to and beds made of two-dollar bills to cry into (do something, anything, to support Haiti. That country really just needs a collective hug.)


With that said, there can be no better transition into my NFL Divisional Round Postseason Picks! Again, I am an amateur with no professional affiliation to any network, just a crazed fan who feels a deep-seeded need to share my opinions with…well…let’s go with Facebook.

Baltimore Ravens AT Indianapolis Colts

I hope that people do not forget how close this game was in the regular season. Last weekend was a weekend of revelations. So obviously, one of those revelations was that the Ravens offense is for real, right? Ehh.

Ray Rice is a Pro Bowler, and deservedly so. Joe Flacco has earned respect as a cool, collected quarterback who works with what he has and is getting better at maximizing the offense’s efficiency. I’m still not sold on the hands of their receivers. We can’t deny that their defense still performs at a high level, and it is nearly impossible to run against them. I don’t need to tell you about Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, and everyone else on that side of the ball. But look at the effort the Patriots put forth this past weekend, and my little brother and I could’ve manhandled that team in the first quarter too. And my little brother and I are only two people!

And let’s not forget that Peyton Manning is only one person. He is just a quarterback who has two hands, one head, two eyes, and one brain. However, it is important to know that Peyton Manning is…well…Peyton Manning. I am only 23 years old, but I think when all is said and done, Peyton Manning will be known as the best quarterback in the history of the NFL. Argue that with me. You can’t. “But he lost the last two games of the season! He’s rusty!” Quarterbacks of his breed don’t get rusty. Michael Vick is rusty. Vince Young would get rusty. He will be running on all cylinders. The Ravens offense does match up nicely with the Colts defense, but the Colts offense has a higher chance of scoring each drive against the Ravens than vice versa. And though it left me high and dry last weekend, I’m sticking to my guns. Peyton might not win the Super Bowl this year, but I figure he has to at least lose to an opponent that stands a chance. Baltimore doesn’t.

Score: Baltimore 15, Indianapolis, 37

Arizona Cardinals AT New Orleans Saints

I believed that this matchup was a possibility, because I expected a defensive war between the Packers and the Cards last week. I was dead wrong, and we got possibly the most exciting game of the playoffs this year. And what do we remember it for? We remember it for defenses being as efficient as playing Madden NFL 2010 with the difficulty on easy (that means defenses played very, very badly last weekend in this game.)

You might have also heard that there was a lot of rumbling about Charles Woodson being selected as the Defensive Player of the Year. Some people thought Darelle Revis should’ve gotten the award, with a few others thinking Darren Sharper deserved it. Sharper was worthy, but he didn’t get it. He still has a reputation as a ballhawk, however, and you can bet that Kurt Warner will know where he is on every play. It won’t do much good though. He did the same thing with Woodson and the Packers, and their defense was completely embarrassed by the Cardinals’ passing game.

This is a pretty unpopular pick, because the Saints wrecked shop for 13 straight weeks before getting knocked off by the Cowboys. From that point on, have they looked good? I said this to my dad, who jumped on their bandwagon after week 1, very early in the season, “They’re hot too early, they’ll lose their momentum going into the playoffs.” (Maybe it was said differently, you get the idea.) And I stand by that belief after seeing the Saints get shocked by Tampa Bay (Tampa Bay!) with Josh Freeman (Josh Freeman!) at the helm. The Saints are an awfully good team, but the Cardinals have been here before, and they showed they are just fine without Anquan Boldin. Who’s to say they wont be again? Expect another shootout, sans defense, of course.

Score: Arizona 34, New Orleans 31

Dallas Cowboys AT Minnesota Vikings

Oh, man, I cannot STAND Brett Favre. I can’t stand the sight of him. I wouldn’t even let the guy cut my grass (even though he spends countless offseason hours cutting farm grass, chopping down trees, and impersonating Paul Bunyan when he’s not re-directing the spotlight to his tear ducts.) That being said, the guy has been absolutely clutch all year. For me, his biggest moment all season was stealing one away from the Ravens at the last minute with a heave-ho that made even me, the greatest Favre detractor in all of Houston, jump out of my seat in excitement.

But I can’t take anything away from Dallas and their first postseason win in a long, long time. People are already buying their Super Bowl tickets, and “Dallas Bro’s” all across the country are breaking out their old, dusty, “I’M HOMO FOR ROMO!!!!!!!” signs because he won a playoff game. They have definitely been playing nearly flawless football for the past month, and their defense is all kinds of menacing. Their running game has come together nicely and been a good accent to their passing game, which has admittedly been leading the way with newcomer Miles Austin taking it deep from Romo (I had to. Sorry.)

All things considered, the Cowboys have been playing with enough momentum to provide a worthy foe to the Vikings. However…the Vikings have been doing what the Cowboys are just now starting to do all season long. Favre has developed the receivers in Minnesota into legitimate threats, and, oh yeah, Adrian Peterson exists. The Cowboys are going to focus so much energy on stopping Adrian Peterson, that their cornerbacks will forget to play pass defense. It pains me to say it, but Brett Favre didn’t come back to lose in the 1st round of the playoffs. And with this team, he is favored to keep going.

Score: Dallas 17, Minnesota 24

New York Jets AT San Diego Chargers

The Jets made me look as foolish as ever last week, not only beating the Bengals, but totally annihilating their defense and just flat out making them look like they didn’t belong on the field. If you read last week’s column, you might find that I said something along the lines of “The Jets were given the playoffs as a gift.” And I still stand by that statement…but the Jets took their present and got the most out of it, instilling fear into the hearts of run defenses in the AFC.

And San Diego has been missing their gigantic nose tackle, Jamal Williams, all season long. They still have their linebackers and quite a good defense, but you can run up the gut on them. San Diego knows its coming, so expect to see eight men in the box for pretty much the entire first half. San Diego will either make Mark Sanchez into a man, or they will make him into mince meat. As for the San Diego offense, Phillip Rivers is just a notch below the current greats at NFL QB, being one of the better passers in the game. However, Darelle Revis is going to shut out Vincent Jackson the same way he shut out Chad Ochocinco. Jackson will be lucky to get more than 5 passes thrown his way all day. Rivers has to accept that, and work with his tight end Gates, and his other receivers.

LaDainian Tomlinson is past his prime. He is still feared, and defenses have to account for him, but he is not the threat he once was (but he’s on my fantasy team!) But what’s the biggest factor going into this game? The time zone difference. Three hours is way more than you think. An east coast team tired from running and running and running is coming to a rested west coast team that smells blood. They have come ever so close to the Super Bowl last decade, while never making it. The team has matured enough to the point that they’re ready for the next step. If they can figure out how to shut down the run game inside, and make Mark Sanchez win the game, the Chargers move on. And I think they will. The Jets won last week cause no one stopped their running backs. San Diego will.

Score: New York 10, San Diego 21