NFL Conference Championship Round

New York Jets AT Indianapolis Colts

Remember Sesame Street? I do. I grew up on it. I learned how to read, write, and speak (or at least learned how to start) mostly thanks to Big Bird and his crew. I loved Grover the most, and I remember my Grover doll that I had until I was about three years old, until I inexplicably lost it. That was a sad day…wait, I’m getting sidetracked. The reason I brought up Sesame Street is because I want you to recall one of the more famous motif’s from the show: “One of These Things is Not Like the Other!”

I’ll give you four guesses. I promise you’ll figure out my correlation eventually. Hint: I’m referring to one of the four football teams left in the playoffs.


All joking aside, I am clearly referring to the upstart New York Jets. Did anyone think they would be here? Here’s a little twisted irony for you (this hurts me as much as it hurts you): In week 1, the Jets lined up to play the Houston Texans. The Texans were poised to begin their first legitimate playoff run as a franchise, and they figured playing the Jets, coming off a 9-7 playoff miss thanks to a certain quarterback who plays for Minnesota now, would be a nice way to warm up the season. The Texans didn’t come to play that day, and they got annihilated. Mark Sanchez won his inaugural game as an NFL quarterback, and in style, too. Not only did the Texans look totally and utterly inept against the Jets swarming defensive front, but Sanchez proved that he was worth the risk the Jets took by taking him #5 overall. At least for the time being.

Over the remainder of the season, the Jets became a running team. Thomas Jones became the featured back with Shonn Greene spelling him when he needed a breather. Shonn Greene owes a lot of credit to the tip-top shape that Thomas Jones is in, because now it’s the other way around. Shonn Greene is a fresh back with major skills, and it’s the AFC Championship Game. And he has Thomas Jones, he of the 1000 yard season and the leader of the NFL’s #1 rushing attack, to back him up now when HE needs a breather.

What? Peyton Manning is the quarterback of the other team? Oh…crap.

Of course, Peyton Manning is rested, and his offense is rested, and his team, as a whole, had the best record in the NFL. Of course, the Colts defense isn’t missing anyone on their front seven, and they still boast the league’s #3 rush defense. Of course, the Colts have this in the bag, right? Wrong.

We all remember the controversy roaring when the Colts decided losing one week was better than winning sixteen weeks in a row. We all know Bill Polian’s philosophy on winning: lose a couple games first. We also know that…well, to be honest, we DON’T know how responsible rookie head coach Jim Caldwell is for the 14-2 record posted by the Colts this season. Do you really think you would have a losing record with that team, even if Jay Leno was the head coach? I’m not sure how, but that was meant to hurt Jay Leno’s feelings YA BIG JERK GO PLAY WITH YOUR STUPID CARS AND LEAVE CONAN ALONE.

Seriously, though: Peyton Manning coaches that team, and Jim Caldwell does not. Figurehead. Caldwell is there to cut the ribbons and sign off the expense reports, but do you really think Caldwell has ever said, “No, Peyton, we’re going to run this pass route because I think it’s a better idea!” Oh, wow, I forgot, he DID do that (against the Jets, of course) and they lost in week 16. By pass route, I mean running route. To the bench. What I’m trying to say is that when coach Caldwell finally decided to put his foot down, the team lost. And they lost again in week 17 against the Bills. Am I making my point well enough? Late in the season, all teams turn to their coaches, and let them decide what to do. Don’t believe me? Think about Marty Schottenheimer. The talent he has coached has been otherworldly…and he still hasn’t been to a Super Bowl.

Coach Caldwell decided that you need to lose some to win some. Rex Ryan…he’s a different story. Ryan decided that planning a victory parade was the best way to go. Philosophically, I’m against puffing out your chest and talking trash all the way to the finish line, but it seems to be working for the Jets. But none of this is football analysis. The Colts are no doubt going to focus in on the Jets running game. Unlike the Bengals (#10 rushing defense) and the Chargers (#7 rushing defense) before them, they actually have a chance at stopping it. So what does Mark Sanchez do? He takes all the time he has in the pocket (because everyone will be waiting for the run) and throws to his tight end, Dustin Keller, who deserves a Pro Bowl spot. I can’t count on Braylon Edwards, but Sanchez won’t take the training wheels totally off yet, either, so only expect one, maybe two, deep bombs to Drops McGee (Braylon Edwards.)

But, is there anyone more clutch than Peyton Manning? The Texans play him twice a year, and every time we get a lead in the fourth quarter, I loudly proclaim that we’ve already lost, because we gave Manning enough time to get up the field. I’ve been right every single time. No one in the league can drive that much fear into the heart of opposing fans. Darelle Revis is good, but he couldn’t beat Reggie Wayne. Manning missed him, but he won’t miss him this time. The Jets have to rush Peyton and make him rely on his running game to open up his arm. I’ll take the Jets backs over the Colts backs. Peyton will have to have a tremendous game to win this one with his arm, because the Jets defense is playing with an unmatched swagger. That’s pretty much all you need on defense.

Call me crazy, but no game is unwinnable, The U.S. beat Russia. The Longhorns beat the Trojans. Will the Jets beat the Colts? Think about the pressure. Do the Colts have any? Do the Jets have any? I rest my case.

Score: Jets 21, Colts 15

Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints

Ironically, with all of the hoodoo over the AFC game, this could prove to be the more exciting game of the two. It’s also the one I am least inclined to watch, because if the Vikings lose, Brett Favre is going to cry. Why is he going to cry? Not because his team lost, but because 10 seconds passed where he was crying and the camera wasn’t on him. And when the camera DOES hone in on him, expect the tear ducts to be flowing at an all time high. This is “the best team I’ve ever played on”, after all, and it would be a crying shame for him to be this equipped to win a Super Bowl and come up short. Poor pitiful Brett Favre. At some point, someone needs to tell him that HDTV not only shows your wrinkles, but it enhances them.

Now, if any other normal human being were quarterbacking the Vikings, they would have a lot more respect for the volatility of the New Orleans Saints. I remember that I picked against them last week. Other teams have made me look stupid in this postseason, but none moreso than the Saints. I thought the Cardinals would run over the Saints in the same fashion that an unstoppable object would trample a completely movable force. I thought the Saints defense was tired. I thought they peaked too early. Again, my sincerest apologies to you, Saints fans. I’ll do my best to never hurt your feelings again.

But I do have one thing to say before I get back on Brett Favre’s case. Reggie Bush is worth every penny the Saints pay him. Reggie Bush can change direction in midair without touching anything but the air. But let’s get one thing straight: Reggie Bush is NOT a power back. There was a play he was involved in that featured a very hard hit, and Reggie Bush giving a menacing look after the play was over, springing back into the huddle for the next play. Unfortunately, broadcasters far and wide concatenated these two events into, “OH MY GOD, REGGIE BUSH JUST RAN OVER SOMEONE!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!” Selective memory suggests that everyone who uttered that line seemed to forget that Reggie Bush got pushed out of bounds during that hard hit. There was another play during which Reggie Bush seemingly did a pirouette on the back of a Cardinals’ linebacker, got back to his feet, and ran the other way for a long touchdown. Impressive play? Absolutely. Power play? Absolutely not. Having your picture taken while on top of a linebacker does not mean that you knocked him down.

Against the Vikings front four, Reggie will need his elusiveness, not the illusion of power. And it is a very scary Vikings front four that he faces. Tony Romo knows how they roll, and if I’m a smart NFL quarterback, I call him right away and ask Romo what to look for with the pass rush. Then again, Romo didn’t respect the Vikings, and didn’t pass downfield, or quickly enough. He paid for it. Luckily for Drew Brees, the Saints have multiple pass catchers that can catch the long ball, and all of them are very, very, VERY good at what they do.

I rip on Brett Favre a lot, but I have to give him credit for playing out of his mind this year. He has been a catalyst for the team’s success this year, and, though there are multiple other reasons for this team’s playoff berth, he is probably the biggest reason. He has developed Sidney Rice into another great receiver named Rice (nowhere near Jerry, might I add) and he has opened up the running game for Adrian Peterson early in the season. However, Adrian Peterson hasn’t had a big game in a while. Why do you think that is? The answer is an overabundance of reliance on the NFL’s best running back for another year. He is tired. He is DEAD tired. He couldn’t get anything going against the Cowboys, and while they were the #4 rushing defense in the NFL, the Saints are #21. It’ll be easier for Adrian, but he’s beat up, and often injured. Who knows if he can hold up for one last game? And if he doesn’t, Favre has Percy Harvin to fall back onto. He might not play with an illness that kept him out of practice. Oh, and Brett Favre is old.

It’s important to point out that the Saints’ defense stopped the Cardinals’ unstoppable offense. Oh, I said that already? Oh, I guess it’s just that important.

The Saints have been salivating for this. Brett Favre has been here already (and it’s been too long of a time since then) and, though he fronts as if there’s a sense of urgency for him to win, there really isn’t. He exacted his revenge on the Packers. Me, me, me. I really doubt Brett’s desire to win up against the Saints collective desire to go to the Super Bowl, and ultimately, I think that will be the team’s downfall. Eat your heart out, Brett Favre.

Score: Vikings 30, Saints 45